Dear purveyor of every other brand of everything, ever:

Hi, thank you for coming to my website. I hope you get a moment to look around before racing to my contact page and immediately emailing me about events and products that may only be mildly relevant, if at all, to my blog topic. I will try to respond, but only because I’m sort of anal-retentive about responding to emails. I will probably say no thank you politely. For those of you in the food and restaurant industry, thank you for your email; I really appreciate the invitation to your event, tasting, or product trial. You guys rock. Now, listen up.

You’re having a media event. For one reason or another, you’ve invited me. Yeay! I have no idea what to expect from this invite. I will probably ask you. Can I bring a guest? Will there be food suitable for a pescatarian? I won’t ask the 589 other questions that my over-planner brain has thought of, but I will decide whether to go or not. And if I’m very very lucky, your event will be like the Thorny Rose bowling night a few weeks ago. And then I might even blog about it. I present my case:

Exhibit #1: The invite to the Thorny Rose event:

This invite is rad. Look at the fonts! Aren’t they fun? Read the content. Cheesy puns, Instagram-esque pictures, reference to The Big Lebowski. I mean, I suppose this is really a marketing lesson in catering to your audience, but dang, well done. Also, I love bowling. And The Big Lebowski. And I don’t even hate wine anymore. And they said I could bring a plus one (they even said “or two”!), which makes most media events wayyyy less awkward. Rad.

Exhibit #2: The event:

They rented the entire Mission Bowl facility. Private party, biatches! My name wasn’t on the list for some reason, but someone who seemed important waved me in after asking me my blog name. I’m sure they had no idea who I was, but since I knew to give a blog name, they probably knew I was invited. So I felt vindicated and welcome. Good move TR.

Exhibits #3-12: Free wine at the bar. In rad custom plastic cups a la Wine Lands. And free bowling. And t-shirt prizes if you got a strike (I got FIVE — yeah, I was in excellent form). And roving appetizer attendants. And a necklace making station. And silly props to use for the photos that the prof photog was taking of you while you had an awesome time. And Jenga and other board games at the tables. And the Creme Brulee cart — yes, they rented the Creme Brulee Cart — for your personally crafted dessert enjoyment. Do you see how this was successful?

In conclusion, this was obviously the Best Media Event Ever. I mean, maybe these rad events happen all the time and I’m just not invited. Fair enough. Either way, this was pretty much perfection. And then they followed up by sending out the professional pics, and even sent me a free bottle of wine. Nicest. People. Ever. Thank you Thorny Rose, you really know how to show a girl a good time. I would go on a second date with you, fo sho. Everyone else: take note. And don’t forget to invite me.

Sincerely,

~broccoli and chocolate~

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